


18

by musiciansfriend



Series: Ziall One Shots (Family, Mpreg, et cetera, et cetera) [14]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M, and some kisses too, based off of 18, ill give you free hugs and pizza and hot chocolate and lots and lots of hugs, im sorry if I made you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musiciansfriend/pseuds/musiciansfriend





	18

The quietness of the house was almost unbearable that night. It crept into Niall's bones, tugging at his heart and swarming his mind with emotion. He was physically breaking; he was beyond the point of repair. Niall tossed and turned under his blankets, never venturing to the other side of the mattress, only looking at what used to be  _His._  He got up, not paying any attention to the familiar sound of a car engine being shut off as he made his way to the kitchen for tea. The car's lights flickered out in his driveway, making the road go dark except for the streetlights. Niall stopped in the middle of the kitchen, staring around at what used to be a happy house full of memories of a once happy family.

 

 

_I got a heart and I got a soul_

_Believe me I wanna use them both_

_We made a start but a false one, I know_

_Baby I don't wanna feel alone_

 

 

The sound of a knock on the front door disrupted the silence; something Niall was almost thankful for since it was practically suffocating him.

He knew who it was.

At once, tears began to fall freely down his face. Niall placed his hand on the doorknob and tried to prepare himself as he opened the door.

 

-

 

There he was, standing in the pouring rain, his beautiful, dark eyes puffy and slightly bloodshot and his perfect cheeks covered in tear tracks. He didn't speak, as his expression said everything.

"Well, c'mon, then. Get inside before you catch a cold." Niall meant to sound hostile, but it just came out heartbroken.

 

 

_So kiss me where I lay down_

_My hands pressed to your cheeks_

_A long way from the playground_

 

 

 _  
_"Niall." Zayn's voice was shaky and scratchy; it sounded as if he hadn't talked since they last saw each other, which was well over a month ago. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, never once taking his eyes off his husband.

"I'll get you some warmer clothes, then. D'you want tea?" Zayn couldn't help but notice that he still had his wedding band on, except it wasn't around his finger; it was on a chain around his neck.

 

 

_I have loved you since we were eighteen_

_Long before we both thought the same thing_

_To be loved and be in love_

_All I can do is say these arms were made for holding you_

_I wanna love like you made me feel_

_When we were eighteen_

 

 

 _  
_"Niall. I want to talk." Niall stopped in his tracks as he turned around. "I Love You, okay? I remember back in March when all you wanted me to do was to _listen._ And I didn't. You wanted me to fight for us. And I didn't. Niall, I Love You, and when -no, if- we get that divorce, I have to let you go. I'm not ready to let go. Niall," he continued "we were married for almost fifteen years. It was hard, yeah, but those years were  _the best_  fifteen years of my life. I Love You. I Love our children. I'm going to fight to save our marriage. I'm going to fight for our love.  _I'm going to fight for you_."

 

 

_We took a chance, God knows we've tried_

_Yet all along I knew we'd be fine_

 

 

"Zayn, I...I..." Niall stood there frozen, as if Zayn's words had cast a spell on his body. He remembered when they fell in love. He remembered when they broke up for the first time. He remembered when Zayn proposed. He remembered when he said  _yes_. He remembered when they bought their first house, when they got their first pet together, when they brought their first baby home from the hospital. All those memories hit him like a tidal wave, pushing his body down and breaking his heart into a million pieces.

 

 

_So pour me a drink, oh love_

_Let's split the night wide open and we'll see everything we can_

_Living love in slow motion, motion, motion_

 

 

"Can I have that tea now?" Zayn asked. the air in the room had become sort of awkward, and it was making it hard to breathe.

Niall seemed to wake up out of the kind of trance he was in and walked to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Zayn followed him through the hallway, only pausing at the stairs, wanting to go up and see his children, the instinct to make sure they were alive and breathing washing over him, but he knew he probably didn't deserve that. He could hear Niall moving about in the kitchen, taking out tea and mugs and putting the kettle on the stove. Zaayn leaned on the counter, looking around at all the pictures of his family.  _Their_  daughter. Niall's late grandmother.  _Their_  son. Zayn's father and mother and his sisters. 

"Here." Niall was so close Zayn felt as if he could kiss him, but he knew he didn't deserve that either. His rosy, pinkk cheeks, cerulean eyes, alabaster skin and soft, dirty-blonde hair. Zayn thought he probably looked much worse in comparison to his beautiful love. What, with his greasy, black hair, practically bloodshot eyes, and dark skin.

 

 

_So kiss me where I lay down_

_My hands pressed to your cheeks_

_A long way from the playground_

 

 

The heated liquid warmed Zayn's cold hands and as he moved the mug to his chapped lips, Niall spoke.

"They miss you, you know." It was true. Sometimes, when Niall was restless and couldn't sleep, he would walk to the doors of his children's roomsand listen at the door for the sound of their breathing. Their daughter was definitley a Papa's girl; Zayn and her had a special connection that seemed almost unbreakable. From the moment they saw her picture on the ultrasound right up until the moment Zayn got his own apartment, they were attatched at the hip. Two peas in a pod is what Niall used to call them. 

"How is she?" Zayn croaked. It sounded like he had found his cigarettes again.

"Still as beautiful as the day we brought her home. Her eyes have seemed to to have lost their twinkle, though." Zayn turned his head; it was hard for him his princess so sad.  _'And it's all my fault,'_  he thought.

"Danny's not much better than her either." His little boy, his son that he held so dear was probably heartbroken,  _'And it was all because of me,'_  ran across Zayn's mind.

"And you?"

Niall only shook his head because he didn't trust his voice. They had been together for twenty years, married for fifteen of them. Thise years were filled  with children and pets and work and a new home and fights and hot coffee in the morning and slow dancing in the kitchen at night and warm hugs and slow, sweet, soft kisses and  _love_ _._ How could he let Zayn, his  _soulmate_ , go?

 

 

_I have loved you since we were eighteen_

_Long before we both thought the same things_

_To be loved and be in love_

_All I can do is say these arms were made for holding you_

_I wanna love like you made me feel_

_When we were eighteen_

 

 

He couldn't do it. It was impossible.

Niall looked over his shoulder but kept his head down so Zayn couldn't see his tears. Zayn set his now empty cup in the sink and moved closer to his love. Niall turned around and lifted his head up. He used to have a problem with looking people in the eye, but Zayn, he couldn't look away from Zayn's eyes. They were a beautiful brown with little flecks of gold and sometimes, they even changed to a deep hazel. Now they were tored and a little bloodshot, like he hadn't been getting much sleep either.

 

 

_Kiss me where I lay down_

_My hands pressed to your cheeks_

_A long way from the playground_  

 

 

Their lips moulded together, staying still and not moving, their perfect idea of a kiss. It was sweet, but at the same time it was the worst pain Zayn had ever felt because he knew he didn't deserve this at  _all_. Zayn smelled like the smoke of burning leaves and tobacco and he felt cold like always, but Niall smelled a little like spices and sunshine and there was a hint of cologne, but he was warm and snuggly. Zayn was the Moon and Stars; Niall was the Sun and the Planets. Complete opposites, yet they were essential to each other's survival.

 

 

_I have loved you since we were eighteen_

_Long before we both thought the same thing_

 

 

They met in school when Niall was seventeen and Zayn was nineteen. Niall would stare at Zayn from the opposite side of the classroom and blush furiously when he was caught. They passed love notes during class, not caring if they were caught. Sometimes, when everybody else was asleep, Zayn would sneak over to Niall's house and throw pebbles at the window to catch his attention; after, they would lay on his roof together, cuddled up to each other to stay warm.

 

 

_To be loved and be in love_

 

 

A lot of people had taken advantage of Niall. Taken advantage of his love. They broke his heart. But then Zayn came along and took care of him properly; he loved him to the ends of the earth and supported him in everything he did and had his back and  _believed in him when no one else did_. a little spark of love was born, and soon it became a huge, roaring fire.

 

 

_All I can do is say these arms were made for holding you_

_And I wanna love like you made me feel_

_When we were eighteen_

 

 

"Niall?" 

 

 

_I wanna love like you made me feel_

_When we were eighteen_

 

 

"Yeah, Zayn?"

 

 

_I wanna love like you made me feel_

_When we were eighteen_

 

 

"I still love you."

"I still love you too, Z."

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

_04.12.14_


End file.
